Love to so many is a once-in-a-lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love can be expressed strictly as an affair of the inner man (heart); something that words cannot really express and that cannot be understood, but experienced.

A lot has been registered in us through magazines, movies, novels and television shows that love at first sight lasts forever. Alright, what brings two people together in the first place is their physical appearance; the personality cannot immediately be seen.

However, love really cannot be based on the outward but on the inward. You should be able to know a lot about the person’s dreams, thoughts, hopes, fears, habits, strengths and weaknesses, and this is not possible in a few hours or days.

Physical appearance and beauty can be very deceptive and does not last. The most elegant wrappings may cover the most useless gifts. It is a terrible mistake to fall ‘’in love’’ with the way someone looks and ignore what that person is on the inside

Love is unselfish about the other’s interest. It should start slowly (months or years) as one should be attracted by the other person’s total personality, including spirituality. You are realistic- seeing his faults yet loving him anyway. You have disagreements, but you can talk them out and settle them. Finally, you want to give and share with the other person. The effect of love on you is that it should make you a better person.

On the contrary, infatuation is selfish and based on externals. The romance starts first (hours or days), you are deeply impressed or interested in the other person’s physical appearance. It is unrealistic (the other person seems perfect, you ignore the nagging doubts about serious personality flaws), arguments are frequent (nothing really gets settled- many are ‘’settled’’ with a kiss or by indulging in sexual acts. Ultimately, it has a destructive, disorganising effect on you.

Apparently, love is not blind but the lovers can be blind.

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